If You're Not the One
by Rainyskies
Summary: My version of Vaughn's two years without Sydney, completely AU
1. Hope for the Future

Disclaimer; I don't own them, JJ Abrams and the nice people at ABC etc do (they keep them in a box under the bed). Although, if you're bored feel free. I have precisely £1.58 to my name – you won't really get much will you? The song "If you're not the one" was both written and performed by Daniel Beddingfield and comes from his album "Gotta Get Thru This".  
  
Part 1/3  
  
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?  
  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?  
  
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call  
  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all  
  
I never know what the future brings   
  
But I know you are here with me now  
  
We'll make it through   
  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?  
  
Michael Vaughn decided that he was the luckiest man in the world – he had the privilege of calling himself Sydney Bristow's boyfriend. THE Sydney Bristow. The girl who was the fantasy of every male on the planet. The beautiful, sexy, honest, loving, "perfect" Sydney Bristow was his. She has his to hold, to protect, to love so completely that it was hard for him to breathe. She was his to run baths for, to walk with, and to kiss. She was his to comfort, to sleep next to, to whisk away on romantic breaks to Santa Barbara, where he was fully planning on getting down on one knee, telling her exactly how much he loved her and asking her to do him the honour of being his forever.  
  
He grinned as he pulled up at the red light and fingered the ring box in his pocket. He'd dropped Syd off and gone to pick up the simple, but elegant, square cut diamond and platinum ring that he knew was perfect for her, before heading for the debriefing which he was currently late for. As he sat in the heavy traffic, he pictured Syd's expression (hopefully smiling with those beautiful dimples of hers on full display) as he said the 28 words he had planned in his head as she threw her pager into the vast depths of the Pacific: "Sydney Anne Bristow, I have loved you since you came crashing into my life with that crazy hair. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" He could picture her on their wedding day, walking down the aisle towards him on Jack's arm, drawing gasps at her beauty from the gathered congregation, her beautiful brown eyes full of tears and a large smile on her face as Jack stared proudly at his daughter. He could envisage their large house with white picket face, their dog, the moment that she told him she was expecting his child, the birth of their child following a long labour throughout which she remained strong despite the pain she was in. He could see his daughter's face, the dark curls and dimples which were the tell tale signs that she was her mother's daughter, the green eyes that showed she was his. He imagined her first smile, laugh, steps, the arrival of brothers and sisters for her until he pretty much had his hockey team. He could picture their first dates, their wedding days, the births of their children. He could envisage his whole life and Sydney Bristow was by his side for every step of it.  
  
The honk of a horn from behind, pulled him from his blissful daydream as he moved off into the traffic and headed towards the Ops Centre for the debriefing, which, whilst it lasted for 4 hours, was uninformative. After a short conversation with Weiss he headed back to his car and set off for Syd's apartment.  
  
TBC? What do you think? I already have part of the fic typed up, but won't bother to continue if no one likes it  
  
Thankyou  
  
Lara 


	2. Living Hell

Part 2/3  
  
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?  
  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?  
  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?  
  
I don't know why you're so far away  
  
But I know that this much is true  
  
We'll make it through  
  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
  
I hope I love you all my life  
  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?  
  
Vaughn sat, unshaven and dishevelled, in yet another drunken stupor in his apartment. He recalled the day three months ago that he lost her. The day when his life may as well of ended.  
  
Flashback  
  
Vaughn stood broken and weak in the burnt out remains of Sydney's home, the place where he was supposed to pick her up and whisk her away where she'd stay safe, from things like this, in his arms. He couldn't believe this was happening. Where was she? She couldn't have been here. She must have gone for a run, gone out food shopping; she had to be anywhere but here. She was going to come flying into the wreck, crying over the loss of her best friend, her home, her everything, and he was going to hold her and wipe away her tears and tell her how much she meant to him. Instead, the coroner is walking towards him, telling him what he didn't want to hear – that there were two bodies found in the bedroom. And then his world crumbled.  
  
End of flashback  
  
Since that day he'd been a shell of his former self. He'd taken a leave of absence from the CIA once it had been confirmed that one of the bodies had been Sydney's. He'd taken to sitting and drinking in his apartment whilst he studied photographs of her beautiful profile, which were now smudged by tears and repetitive holding. He'd stopped taking care of himself and was creating a lot of worry for those still at the CIA – namely Dixon, Carrie, Marshall and even Jack showed considerable concern. However, it was Weiss who was the most troubled by Vaughn's decline into a seemingly unending despair. In fact, it was Weiss who first took action, making a phone call to Vaughn's mother Amelié. Within 24 hours of Weiss' frantic call; she was knelt on the floor of her son's apartment holding him as he sobbed, telling her about his beautiful soul mate who had reversed roles with him a little too literally by becoming his guardian angel, watching over him from the stars.  
  
Amelié had never seen her son so broken, in so much pain, not even when his father had died. She was truly surprised that he had lasted this long, that he was surviving this incredible heartbreak. She listened patiently as Michael told her about the women that he had loved more than life itself, the woman who had been stolen from him. She listened as he told her about the perfect life that they would have had together. Within 24 hours of arriving, it was far too obvious to Amelié that she couldn't leave her son. Instead, she decided to take him back to France with her and with Weiss' help, a week later they were on a flight which would take them back to Vaughn's childhood home in Fleury. Michael hadn't had a drink since his mother had poured all the liquor down the sink. He was beginning to get more colour following a few well homemade meals. Amelié hoped that the change of scenery in France, away from the reminders in LA, would do Vaughn some good for his own sake.  
  
TBC 


	3. Learning to Live

A/N 1; Alright bear in mind that this was only going to be three parts originally so I've run out of verses, so consider this part 2a coming under the verse for part 2 (Does that make any sense?)  
  
A/N 2; Nope, still don't own it, although if you sue at the minute my current fund stands at £5.69 (roughly US $10) – still really isn't worth it.  
  
And on with the update:  
  
Part 2a  
  
Over the next two months, Amelié grew more concerned for her son's well- being. Although he'd continued eating (to a degree) and stopped destroying his liver with alcohol, it seemed that he had retreated into the shadows of his mind. Vaughn was constantly haunted by Syd's memory. He saw her everywhere – strangers who before had only had a passing resemblance to Syd now attracted stares from him, he talked to her at night and if a small miracle had occurred and Amelié had managed to persuade Michael to leave the house, he'd find himself turning around to say something to Sydney only to realise that she wasn't there. It soon became apparent to Amelié that despite her hopes that this trip would do Vaughn good, if anything it was making him worse.  
  
Time slowly crawled by and Amelié suspected that her son's grief had grown with each passing day. She'd often lay in bed at night listening to her son talking to Sydney – marvelling at the love that they must have shared that was now slowly destroying him piece-by-piece. She came to the conclusion that Sydney must have been the one great love of her son's life. Once she'd realised this she had a new understanding of how Vaughn felt. After all, she'd lost her love when Michael was still a small child and whilst she didn't think she could carry on, she'd survived for her son's sake. But Vaughn had no one to survive for anymore.  
  
On the first anniversary of Sydney's death, Amelié decided she had to act before her son killed himself with despair. Amelié decided to take Vaughn to his father's grave, and so she did. Sitting on a bench in the cold cemetery, Vaughn looked up as his mother approached and sat next to him.  
  
"You know I met your father on this bench," she said breaking the silence "I'd just moved to Fleury and I was away from my family for the first time. I came out of the old railway station across the road and came and sat here. I was so homesick already, I was crying, and your father, he was here on assignment, walked up, sat next to me and passed me a tissue and that was that. God I miss him so much!" Vaughn studied his mother's worn face before speaking  
  
"Maman, why do you think that God takes good people away from us – I mean Dad and Syd, they were good people who didn't deserve to be snatched from us, so why were they?"  
  
Amelié dwelled on her son's question for a moment, wondering what she could say in response, when a memory suddenly struck her and slowly she began to speak,  
  
"Michael, when your father died, I was like you are now, so broken I didn't think that I'd survive, your Grandmeré was so worried. She sent you to stay with your Tanté Trish, do you remember?" Vaughn nodded, remembering the crazy summer he'd spent at her house near Paris. "Well, your Grandmeré came to stay here with me. One day she brought me here, and I asked her that same question. . . . Do you know what she said? She said; Amelie, God takes good people away from us when he's running short of angels to watch over us all' – I always believed that, it's a nice thought, that your dad and Syd are up there somewhere watching over us." They didn't speak after that, instead they sat quietly and enjoyed the peacefulness of their surroundings.  
  
After that day, Vaughn had a new found understanding about what had happened, and he began, albeit slowly to move on. Whilst he knew that he would never be able to love anyone else, he realised that he could survive without Sydney, in fact he had to survive and live each day for them both. Soon, 2 months had passed and Vaughn found himself waking up on October 1st, the anniversary of the day when his life had changed for the better. He had to force himself to get out of bed and to go down to breakfast. When he arrived at the table he found a jewellery box sat in his place, and his mother was nowhere to be seen; "Maman?" he called uncertainly. When he heard no response he walked slowly over to the table where he picked up the box and opened it.  
  
TBC  
  
(No I'm not that mean)  
  
Laying in the box was a band of gold, glinting in the early light that flooded in through the windows. A voice startled him, "Do you recognise it?" Spinning around Vaughn located his mother stood in the doorway, "You should, it was your father's wedding band. He left it at home on the day he was killed. His fingers were taped up because he'd broken them fixing your bicycle – when the CIA returned his body the coffin was already sealed, so I couldn't put it back where it belonged. Instead I was planning to give it to you to use as your wedding ring" Vaughn met his mother's eyes and was surprised to find them misty.  
  
"You were going to marry Sydney weren't you?" Vaughn found his own voice full of emotion as he responded, "Yes – well I hoped so. I was planning to propose to her the day after the fire in Santa Barbera at sunset."  
  
Amelié smiled, "She would have said yes Michael, I know she would have." Amelié took a step towards her son and picked up the ring. Taking Vaughn's left hand she placed the band on his ring finger, saying, "There, back where it belongs." She wrapped her son up in her arms as they both allowed their emotions to overcome them and they sank to the floor sobbing together.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N 3; See, this is where my naivety appears – he's not really married, despite what my best friend who gets Bravo keeps telling me.  
  
Alright this chapter is dedicated to my Nanna and granddad (who are watching over us somewhere) as they provided the inspiration for how Vaughn's parents met – didn't I have a romantic Granddad?! It's also dedicated to Emms, our guardian angel who was taken from us this year at the age of 13 – God Bless sweetie.  
  
OK the usual please, can you review? It really keeps me going. 


	4. Home Again

Disclaimer: Still don't own them  
  
Part 2b  
  
After October 1st, Michael appeared to improve dramatically and whilst Amelié knew that her son would never really move on, he was on his way to finding some semblance of peace without Sydney. At the start of November, Vaughn told Amelié that despite her fears he could survive on his own and that he wanted to return to LA. Of course Amelié was opposed to the idea at first, but slowly Michael wore her down until eventually they reached a compromise whereby they would both go to LA at the start of December and Amelié would stay with him at his apartment for 6 weeks in order to see Michael through the turmoil that Amelié knew Christmas and New Year would bring before returning to France half way through January.  
  
16 months after their journey east to France, Amelié and Vaughn made the return trip to LA. The long flight was spent with Michael reassuring Amelié that she was doing the right thing by allowing him to return home. It was Eric who picked them up from LAX and drove them back to Vaughn's apartment filling him in on all the news he'd missed; how Carrie and Marshall were married and expecting their first child any day now, how Will was better and dating again following a brief period of post-traumatic dating syndrome, and how by some miracle Eric had managed to get a girl to, not only date him for a year, but agree to marry him. Vaughn grinned at this news, quickly agreeing to Weiss' request that he be best man. By this stage, Weiss had spotted the band on Vaughn's finger but in a moment of sensitivity decided not to mention it yet.  
  
The trio reached Vaughn's apartment to find Rebecca (Weiss' fiancé), Will, Jess (Will's girlfriend), Marshall and Carrie acting as a welcoming committee. The group ate dinner together, with the others following Weiss' lead by not mentioning the ring. It was only when Vaughn excused himself to get some air that Weiss casually asked Amelié about it; "Amelié , don't take this the wrong way, but did Mike get married and just not mention it to anyone?" Amelié's response to this was sharp, "Eric Matthew Weiss, do you honestly believe that one of the most honourable men on the planet would get married less than two years after losing the love of his life?...Well?"  
  
"No"  
  
"No - exactly. The ring was Michael's fathers. Originally I was planning to give it to Michael to use at his own wedding, but..." She trailed off as Vaughn entered the tense atmosphere in the room. "Well," said Carrie breaking the hostile silence, "could someone take me to the hospital? It appears that my waters have broken."  
  
Christmas was spent at the Finkman's with the women cooking and fussing over the new baby girl - Katie Lily, and the men getting in the way. Whilst New Year was spent at Dixon's, who held a large barbeque despite the cold weather. It was here that Vaughn encountered Jack for the first time since his return. It wasn't nearly as difficult as either had anticipated with the pair finding a mutual respect now existed between them.  
  
Soon, the six weeks had passed and Vaughn, Weiss and Rebecca were at the airport seeing off Amelié, who whilst reluctant to leave knew that she had to in order for her son to move on. Still, it was only after assurances from both Weiss and Rebecca that they'd look after Vaughn and get her back immediately if anything happened that Amelié made her tearful farewells, first to Weiss and Rebecca and then separately to Michael, who promised that he would ring twice a week, eat regularly and visit once a year. Giving his mother a final hug, Michael simply whispered, "Thank you maman". Amelié smiled, stepped back from her son and walked through her gate to board the plane. Once seated she gazed out of the window at the terminal knowing that her son would be OK.  
  
Vaughn began to settle into his life once his mother had left. He returned to work where he received a rapturous (A/N - wow, a big word for 1 a.m.) welcome from his colleagues and threw himself into his work taking down a new organisation that rivalled the Alliance - the Covenant. And whilst he found it difficult to go near the warehouse, or the pier, or the observatory, or the train station or any other place close to his relationship to Sydney, he did OK - he lived for Syd and slowly his time in LA passed and he fell back into his old routine.  
  
Then, in typical fashion, Sydney Bristow came back into his life with a jolt. It was an ordinary Tuesday morning when he was called in to see Kendall. Instantly, Vaughn ran through all his actions to see what he could have done wrong, but he was completely unprepared for Kendall's statement.  
  
"Agent Vaughn, I've just had a phone call from Hong Kong - from a woman claiming to be Agent Bristow." and then once again, Michael Vaughn's world stopped.  
  
TBC 


	5. She's Back?

Disclaimer: No, for the love of God, I still don't own Alias   
Part 3 

"Agent Vaughn, I've just had a phone call from Hong Kong – from a woman claiming to be Agent Bristow" and then once again, Michael Vaughn's world stopped.

Vaughn sat silently staring at Kendall, not quite sure whether or not this was some kind of sick joke. "Agent Vaughn, did you hear me?" It wasn't.

"She's back" Michael's voice portrayed his inner turmoil. Kendall peered at the younger man kindly.

"Yes – it would appear so."

"Does Jack know?"

"Not yet, we're having some difficulty tracing him, apparently he actually used his vacation time to go on vacation rather than to go on some unauthorised mission." Kendall seemed surprised by this, and spoke again,

"Agent Vaughn, we want you to go and retrieve Agent Bristow. Langleywanted to send an agent closer to Hong Kong, but Devlin intervened. He thought she would want to see a familiar face. Of course, you don't have to go if....." "When's my flight?"

Three hours later Vaughn sat on one of the CIA's jets, heading for Hong Kong. Jack had yet to be traced and so Vaughn had been authorised to go and as Weiss had put it, "bring her home safely". It was only his brief conversation with Weiss, whose disbelief had been immense until he remembered that Syd was implicated in the Rambaldi prophecies and when they were involved anything – even resurrection – was possible, that stood out in the blur of leaving Kendall's office and getting to the airstrip. Vaughn sat silently, anticipating the moment when he would once again have Sydney in his arms, when he would see his soul mate, his guardian angel, his everything.

TBC 

**A/N; **I know it's short but this is due to the fact that I wanted the conversation between Syd and Vaughn (which happens next) to be a chapter of it's own.

Thanks to all the reviewers and I'm going to be mean here and ask to get the reviews up to 10 before I update

Love ya all


	6. Together at Last?

**Disclaimer:** Seriously, I have to do this again? I don't own them, honest!

**A/N;** OK, it's taken a while but I finally got here – Syd's back and she's about to be reunited with Vaughn. Anyone else excited? I know I am and I wrote the thing

So on with the update:

Part 4 

Vaughn sat silently, anticipating the moment when he would once again have Sydney in his arms, when he would see his soul mate, his guardian angel, his everything.

Four hours later, Vaughn stood apprehensively outside the Hong Kong safe house that currently housed his true love. It was only now that it hit him, Sydney was in there – he was going to see her again. And this time he promised himself he'd never let her go.

As he was led down a dark, dingy corridor a woman's racking sobs could clearly be heard. Panicked that Sydney could be the one in so much pain he subconsciously began to speed up, all the while thinking back over every occasion that he had pinpointed as a time when he had fallen in love with Sydney more; the first time he'd met her, the time she grabbed his hand at the pier in an attempt to anchor herself to constancy, when she'd asked him to break into the Vatican with him, finding her at the railway station, Taipei, her rescuing him in France, watching her sleep as they awaited the virus test results, her visit to him in hospital when he contracted the virus, explaining the significance of his dad's watch to her, risking everything to have dinner in Nice, kissing her as they finally took down the Alliance, making love to her that first time, Sydney admitting that she'd covered up for Dixon and apologising, the last conversation he'd had with her when he told her about the trip he'd arranged.... He saw flashes of his life since Sydney had arrived in it and made him a better person.

Suddenly, the man leading Vaughn stopped causing Vaughn to crash into him and out of his memories. The man leading Vaughn indicated a door to the left saying "Agent Bristow is in there; she seems to be a little confused but that's to be expected, otherwise she's in relatively good shape" Vaughn nodded his thanks to the man, who swiftly left in order to give the pair privacy. Vaughn, who was now just seconds from seeing his true love once more, was so relieved that the heartbreakingly soul wrenching sobs did not seem to be coming from within the room that he had to take a deep breath in order to regain his composure. Then, slowly he turned the knob, opened the door and entered the room.

And there she was, his first glimpse of her in 22 agonising months took his breath away, and suddenly she was in his arms and he was holding onto her so tightly he thought he'd never be able to let her go again and she was clinging to him just as tightly and subconsciously he registered the slight movement of her head as she turned her head and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. Pulling back slightly she spoke and her voice to Vaughn was like the sound he expected a choir of angels rejoicing in heaven to make, "They doubled Francie"

"I know" was all that Vaughn could choke out.

"What happened to Will? To Francie? Are they dead?" Her question was desperate, as she pleaded with her eyes to let the news be good.

"Will's OK" was Vaughn's somewhat evasive response.

"What? How?" Sydney actually sounded surprised.

Some semblance of sanity returned to Vaughn at this point and he figured that this could take awhile so he gently told her to sit and guided her to a seat finding a seat for himself across from her. He didn't trust himself to sit next to her after all God only knows what she'd been through in the last two years and despite the fact that there seemed to be no physical damage to her, he didn't know what psychological damage had been done. So, despite the fact that all he wanted to do was take her in his arms, kiss her and make love to her all night, he didn't want to push her at least not now anyway. Her voice once again redrew him back into reality,

"Vaughn...?" His name was a question on his lips.

"We thought you were dead – they asked me to come – to explain"

"Explain what? What are you talking about?" It is now that it finally sinks in to Vaughn that Sydney has no idea where she's been or how long she's been gone. As comprehension dawns on him he rubs his hand over his eyes in a move characteristic to their early friendship, he doesn't even think about the ring on his fourth finger or of the thoughts that it will incite within Sydney**. ** As he battles the inner demons that are fighting his conscience to let him go kill the guys that did this to his beloved, he misses her next question "Why are you wearing that ring?" as he tries to think of a way to break the news that will shatter her life into pieces.

He decides that like a plaster, the pain might be lessened if he tells her now rather than waiting, so he begins

"Syd...since that night, you were missing, you've been missing for almost two years". The look of pure horror on Sydney's face, was shortly after replaced with on of anger – pure, unadulterated rage – and he didn't expect the next thing out of her mouth "So you got married did you?" "What Syd..." "No, don't speak to me you lying, cheating scumbag....two years....you got over MY DEATH in two lousy, bloody years did you?" Tears were coursing down her cheeks as she stood and turned to leave, Vaughn who was still struggling to comprehend why she was so furious at him stood as well and grabbed her arm as she attempted to leave and pulled her back to face him, "What? Do you want to tell me her name? Tell me how beautiful she looked as she walked towards you on your wedding day? Is that what you want MICHAEL?" She spat out his name as though it were poison before breaking into heart wrenching sobs, "Do you want to break my heart even more? Do you?" Vaughn pulled her towards him and she fought against him beating against his chest with her fists as she begged him to let her go.

Finally, something in Vaughn clicked and he grabbed her hands, stilling them, the sorrow in her voice broke his heart as she whispered a fresh plea "Please, just let me go" "No – Sydney listen to me" "Why should I listen to you? I thought you loved me" "I do" "Then why did you get married" "That's just it Syd, I'm not married – I could never do that – I love you" As the shock of this statement began to sink in Vaughn sank to the floor, pulling Sydney with him and into his arms. Sitting quietly he attempted to calm her by rocking back and forth, stroking her hair as she cried into his shoulder. They sat like that for hours until Vaughn began to speak,

"You know, I didn't even think to take off the ring – I was just so elated that you were alive that I forgot all about it. It was my father's wedding band." Sydney turned her head to look at it, still sniffling slightly "My mom gave it to me a little while ago, on October 1st actually, apparently she was planning to give it to me to use as my wedding band but when she realised the only person I'd ever even consider marrying was you" she looked up at him sharply as he said this, obviously shocked by his declaration, noting her shock Vaughn pressed a kiss to her forehead in an effort to reassure her that what he said was true, before continuing "she gave me the ring." He was stopped by the gentle pressure of Syd's fingers on his lips "You really thought you'd lost me didn't you?" "Yeah, well after the fire at your place and the DNA tests to prove that you were one of the bodies inside......I was so crushed – it was like someone had ripped out my heart, but now you're back – you're really here and I can touch you" he ran his fingers down the side of her face, "and kiss you" he gently pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss before pulling away "and you won't disappear." It was Sydney who initiated the next kiss, and it was Vaughn who deepened it. They kissed desperately, as though it was their last and only pulled apart when the need for air overwhelmed them both. Pressing his forehead to Syd's Vaughn whispered, "I love you" "I love you too – Vaughn, do you think we could get up off the floor?" "Yes sweetie we could" and he stood pulling her up with him and leading her over to the bed in the corner where they laid and Vaughn held her in his embrace as they drifted off to sleep peacefully, both knowing that whatever was to come could wait until tomorrow when they would face it together.

**TBC**

Hey guys, thank you for all the reviews.

I hope you all like this chapter.

I'm sorry it's not formatted properly but I'm having some difficulty with quick edit – if anyone knows how to edit your document can you let me know via e-mail – Thanks

I'm going to be evil now and say - no update until I'm on 25 reviews (that should hopefully give me enough time to write it and if not then you'll have to wait).

Love ya all

Lara


	7. Waking up to Reality

**Disclaimer;** Alias remains the property of JJ Abrams, Bad Robot, ABC etc. I don't own it; it's characters or storylines and just borrow them for fun!!

Part 7 

Pressing his forehead to Syd's Vaughn whispered, "I love you" "I love you too – Vaughn, do you think we could get up off the floor?" "Yes sweetie we could" and he stood pulling her up with him and leading her over to the bed in the corner where they laid and Vaughn held her in his embrace as they drifted off to sleep peacefully, both knowing that whatever was to come could wait until tomorrow when they would face it together.

It was Vaughn who awoke first the next morning following the best nights sleep he had had in a long time. Feeling the precious bundle he held in his arms shift he remembered the reason for his existence. Looking down at his soul mate, he watched her slumber peacefully marvelling at her pure beauty. The passage of two years had scarcely affected her with the exception of the addition of a few more worry lines to her face which Vaughn now gently kissed in an effort to iron them away. He wanted to take all the pain that Syd undoubtedly felt and make it disappear. He was drawn from his thoughts by Sydney's awakening. Meeting her gaze as her eyes fluttered open to the early morning light he whispered "I love you" "I love you too" was her response as she pressed her lips to his in a loving kiss. Pulling back only when the need for air consumed them both Sydney asked, "So what happens now?"

"Well our plane to LA leaves in" Vaughn checked his watch "90 minutes. I should warn you that once we land you'll be placed into custody-"

"What? Why?"

"Oh, you know the CIA – it's only in the spy world that the thought that you could be a double would cross anyone's mind!"

Syd smiled at this "And how exactly Mr Vaughn do you know I'm not a double?"

"Because my dear – you're you and only you would have reacted to the idea that I may have been married in the way that you did!" Syd smiled at this before speaking once again, "And after I've been subjected to all these tests?"

"Well, then you'll get the pleasure of listening to Kendall ramble on for hours in debrief!"

"Well, nothing quite says Welcome back from the dead like a CIA debrief" she joked before once again turning serious "Wait a minute – you said there was a fire at my place!! Where am I going to live?"

"You think I'm just going to let you sleep on the streets – you're coming home with me – I'm not letting you get away again" She grinned at this "Besides you've been dead for two years and the only thing you're worried about is where you're going to live!" he teased "Cause if I were you I'd be worried about the fact that I'd no money, no job and a whole load of people who think I'm dead!!"

Vaughn stopped as a strangled sob escaped Syd's mouth and the stupidity of what he'd just said hit him. Pulling her onto his lap he rocked her back and forth as he whispered "Oh baby – I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, that was so stupid, please don't cry baby, please"

"You're right though" came her voice "you're right! I was dead to you guys. You all thought I was gone and I caused you pain and my dad and Dixon, and Will and everyone! I'm so sorry!"

"What! Why are you blaming yourself!! Syd, sweetheart there was nothing you could do – it was not your fault"

"But – "

"No buts Syd IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! Do you understand that?"

She nodded into his chest – "Good" he continued "Come on we'd better get to the airstrip"

An hour and a half later, Sydney sat in Vaughn's arms on the CIA chartered plane as it headed back to Los Angeles. Sydney looked up at Vaughn, wondering what had happened to her friends and other loved ones.  
"What happened to everyone else? To Dad, to Will, to Dixon to everyone?"  
Vaughn sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Who would you like to hear about first?"  
"I don't know. Who hasn't betrayed the CIA or died because of me?"   
"You know that that isn't true."  
Sydney looked at him for a moment, then turned her head and looked out the window and into the clouds.  
"You know it is. How many people have died because of me?"  
"Syd..."  
"Danny, those agents in Badenweiler, Francie, Noah...the list goes on and on forever. You'd better watch your back, you may be next!"  
"You know that Hicks was a bad guy."  
The image of Noah dying in front of her very eyes played in her head and she quickly blinked it away. "Maybe, but I forced the fight. You have no idea what it was like." She paused. "When I first came to SD-6, Noah was one of their highest operatives. I looked up to him as a role model, someone I wanted to work with. He was more than a friend, yes. But he was always there for me." Sydney stopped, realizing Vaughn probably didn't want to learn about an old relationship.  
Vaughn sighed, and switched back to their original subject.

"I'm not playing this game Syd – I'm not going to let you blame yourself for things that you had no control over – Danny died at Sloane's hands not yours, the agents in Badenweiler were killed in an accident – you had no way of knowing Dixon would set up another detonator, Noah Hicks was a bad person who you killed in self defence – he could have killed you. And Francie – well the double had us all fooled – not just you! She fooled Will, me even her parents – don't blame yourself"

"But if I wasn't an agent – "

"If you weren't an agent then Sd-6 would still exist, none of the good that you have done would have happened and I wouldn't have met you! I couldn't stand not knowing you, not being with you, not â.. "

"Not what?"

"Not loving you. I love you Sydney – more than anything on this world. I was so lost without you" She kissed him gently before pulling back and saying

"My dad, start with my dad"

"Well he's OK I think – I last saw him a few months ago at Dixon's new year's eve party. He stopped doing fieldwork after you disappeared, he works as an analyst now. He doesn't know you're back yet – would you believe that your father has actually gone on vacation – they were trying to trace him when I left"

He paused for a moment before continuing "Kendall's still in charge at the centre and he's still as much of an ass as always. Dixon got promoted he's just below Kendall now and he and the kids are moving on with their lives as best as possible – he can't wait to see you. Marshall and Carrie got married a year and a half ago – they have a little girl now, Katie Lily, she was born in December. And Will's fine – no permanent damage was left as a result of the stabbing although according to Weiss he did have a slight case of post-traumatic dating syndrome that he got over – he lives with his girlfriend Jess now and is still an analyst at the agency."  
Sydney smiled slightly, glad to hear that her friend had a semi-normal life.

"How is Weiss these days?"  
"Never changed, unless you count the 50 pounds he lost. Oh, that and his fiancée"

"He's getting married! Really!"

"Yep – who'd have thought it Eric Weiss is going to beat US up the aisle!"

An uncomfortable silence followed this statement before Vaughn, in an attempt to diffuse the sudden tension, stood up.

"We land in a few hours you should get some rest."

"Why don't you do the same?" She looked up at him, "You look exhausted".  
"I will, as soon as I finish the report regarding your resurrection." He leaned down and kissed her softly before walking to another seat, where he settled himself to work on his laptop watching as Sydney dozed off into a peaceful sleep.

**TBC**

**A/N 1: **Ok I did say that I wouldn't update till I got 25 reviews but 22 is damn close so an update you're a getting!! However, if you want more you're going to have to press that little purple button and REVIEW!! Go on – please – It'll make my day!!

**A/N 2: **I want to dedicate this chapter to my great beta Sydney at allalias cause without her there would be no chapter. Thankyou soo much for all your ideas, patience and cheering on – this one's for you!


	8. Author's Note

Hi, this isn't an update and it isn't really Lara either – but her friend Caitlin. You see Lara has been bugging me to come and tell you all what's going on, as she fears you may think that she's forgotten about this piece of work. The truth is that essentially Lara managed to catch mumps during her first term at university. She was in a lot of pain and had golf balls instead of glands and so she went to the doctors at the start of November and he said she was to stay in bed till at least Christmas. Then as a result of her weakened immune system she got a very bad infection (if anyone's interested I can't spell it so it must be serious.) She was doing ok but due to a recent bout of bad weather here, things have worsened and she had to be hospitalised. Since then things have steadily deteriorated and she had to be moved to the High Dependency Unit (that's one down from Intensive Care), the doctors are hopeful that she will make a full recovery but at the moment she's very sick so realistically an update shouldn't be expected any time soon. I promised her I'd let you all know when I last visited her and she wasn't unconscious and on a ventilator so there you go.

Thanks

Caitlin


	9. This is your Early Morning Wake Up Call

**Part 8**

"Yep – who'd have thought it Eric Weiss is going to beat US up the aisle!"

An uncomfortable silence followed this statement before Vaughn, in an attempt to diffuse the sudden tension, stood up.

"We land in a few hours you should get some rest."

"Why don't you do the same?" She looked up at him, "You look exhausted".  
"I will, as soon as I finish the report regarding your resurrection." He leaned down and kissed her softly before walking to another seat, where he settled himself to work on his laptop watching as Sydney dozed off into a peaceful sleep.

Several hours later, Vaughn had finished his report and had settled himself into the seat opposite Syd where he watched his love sleep peacefully. It seemed that time was working against him however and all to soon the plane was descending and Vaughn had to wake Sydney from her tranquil rest. He hated having to do it but assumed that he would rather have her awaken as a result of his actions than those of the armed team he know was in position ready to take her into CIA custody.

It seemed completely ridiculous to him that Kendall had felt that a full scale pick-up to be necessary – surely if there was a third double, they wouldn't just hand themselves over to the CIA where they would undergo every medical test possible, which would alert everyone to their status – but if that was what was needed in order for the CIA in order to let Syd home with him then so be it. That said, he couldn't stand the thought of what she may have to go through, the last time Sydney had undergone severe medical testing at the hands of Kendall was when she was trying desperately to prove that she wasn't the woman in the prophecy. Then he'd had to watch in anguish as her body – already beaten and broken so many times before – was put to the ultimate test to attempt to keep Sydney free.

Sighing, he applied himself to the task before him. Vaughn remembered Sydney's hate of being all to well from two years previously. He very much doubted that it had changed much and was proven right when after gently shaking her awake he was confronted with a still sleepy and very grumpy Sydney.  
"I'm sorry baby – but you need to wake up for me" he whispered as he brushed her dark hair out of her eyes, "Honey – please?" The only response he got was that of a grunt as Syd pulled the blanket up over her head, and he grinned to himself - some things just didn't change! As the pilot's voice came over the intercom announcing the final descent, Vaughn became slightly desperate and resorted to an old tactic that had often worked in the past.

Using his right hand to pull the blanket from her, he used his left to slide her top slightly down so that her left shoulder was exposed. Gently he leaned forward to press a kiss to the creamy skin of her shoulder before proceeding to kiss up the left column of neck. He reached the sensitive spot behind her ear and pressed several kisses to the skin there as Syd released an appreciative moan before seeking out his face with her hands and his lips with hers. Quickly Vaughn found himself lost in her kiss. Feeling her pulled tightly to his chest with her tongue seeking entrance to his mouth, it felt as though no time had passed since he had last done this and he found it easy to forget that she had ever been gone.

He was pulled out of the haze as he felt Sydney's hands clambering for his shirt's buttons. The look of hurt on her face as he sharply pulled away caused him pain, and her voice was small as she asked,  
"Don't you want me?" her face was tilted down as she studied the carpet, using his left hand he lifted her face so that she was looking him in the eye as he gently stroked the right side of her face with his other hand:  
"Of course I want you, Syd trust me there is nothing more I want in this world. But in about five minutes we're going to land and in about ten minutes a fully armed team is going to come through that door!" She smiled as he realised he was being sincere although her expression became more serious as he continued softly:  
"Besides Syd, I want to get you checked out by med services – just to be on the safe side"  
"Why?" she asked, as Vaughn steeled himself for what he was about to say,  
"To make sure that whoever did this to you hasn't hurt you – and I don't just mean physically. Syd I know full well you'll have checked yourself out to the best of your ability but we don't know who did this, they could have done anything. They could have…" he couldn't bring himself to say it, the thought of anyone violating his love in anyway made him feel physically sick,  
"I'd just rather we waited until we know you're OK."

Throughout this speech Vaughn had been looking at the floor but now that he had finished he looked up at Sydney to find tears coursing down her cheeks leaving a salty trail in their wake. The pain in her eyes mirrored what he knew must be present in his own. She seemed almost child-like, her innocence paining him more, as she whispered,  
"You don't think that… They can't have, right?"  
It almost broke his heart in two, as he had to whisper back,  
"I don't know baby, they might have" With this he pulled Sydney from her seat over into his and held her tightly in his arms, kissing her tears away. As the plane touched down on American soil she turned to him and whispered;  
"Tell, me it's going to be OK Michael. Please tell me it's going to be OK." As the armed guard began to board the plane he whispered,  
"It's going to be OK Syd, we're together now and everything's going to be fine."

**TBC**


	10. Playing the Waiting Game

Hey Guys

I realised after the last chapter that I didn't thankyou all for your kind support whilst I was sick – and then I couldn't figure out how to edit it. So I would like to take a minute now to thankyou all from the bottom of my heart. Being soo sick was scary – but knowing that I had sooo many people thinking about me really helped – So thankyou.

And now on with:

**Part 9**

"Tell, me it's going to be OK Michael. Please tell me it's going to be OK." As the armed guard began to board the plane he whispered,

"It's going to be OK Syd, we're together now and everything's going to be fine."

Vaughn stood watching from the observation booth as Sydney underwent her sixth hour of tests. He hated the not knowing and would have given anything to be allowed in the room with her, in fact he had fought with everything in him to be, but had only been allowed to watch from behind the reflective glass – somewhere that technically he shouldn't have been. As the doctor's prepared to take yet more blood from Syd he wished more than before that he could be with her. He knew how much she hated needles from their relationship before she went missing, when he had been amused that she had come up with an excuse for why he had to go to the doctors with her when she had to go for her tetanus booster, she'd held his hand then so tightly that it was left bruised but at the present moment in time Vaughn would have welcomed the pain as long as he could be with her as she went through the rigorous testing.

On arrival at the Ops Centre Sydney had been ushered through the back entrance and up to med services so that the main rotunda was avoided. Vaughn on the other hand was ordered to report to Kendall and so with some reluctance he left Sydney in the hands of the armed agents and reported to Kendall's office. There he found both Kendall and Jack waiting. It was almost unnerving seeing Jack, he was sat in casual clothing – a sharp contrast to the suit he usually wore in the office – tapping his foot nervously on the floor, but perhaps more unnerving, however, was the look on his face as he noted Vaughn's arrival in the room.

"Is it her?" Jack's question was quiet and disbelieving, as Vaughn was sure his would have been should their roles have been reversed.

"Yeah Jack – it's Syd – she's really back." A look of pure relief crossed Jack's face at Vaughn's response.

"Now Agent Vaughn – we don't know that." Both Jack and Vaughn whipped round to face Kendall,

"Well, we don't! It wouldn't be the first time a person has been 'doubled' would it?"

"Trust me on this – the woman that I have just accompanied from Hong Kong is definitely Sydney Bristow – damn it you should be able to trust me on that!" was the defensive reply "And right now she's down in med services, absolutely terrified, because she has no idea whatsoever where she's been for the last two years – or for that matter – that she's been gone for two years! And one of us should be there with her!"

A silence fell in the room as Vaughn finished his tirade.

"Look, Agent Kendall – I know that we've had issues in the past with doubles and all that crap – but I can assure you that it is definitely her and I don't have the time to stand here defending that to you when she is going through absolute hell!"

With this Vaughn turned on his heel to leave the room but was stopped by Kendall's voice:

"Agent Vaughn you are not authorized to go to the prisoner – you will not go anyway near medical services and that is an order!"

With this Kendall, to his surprise, found himself pinned to the wall by Jack, who spoke in a low tone:

"Let me remind you of something. Three hours when I entered this centre you told me that my daughter was ALIVE. Those were your words, and now suddenly you are calling her a PRISONER and suspecting her of being a double?"

"Yes well – with retrospect…"

"With retrospect my ass – now you will let Agent Vaughn and myself go to my daughter and you will do it now or else…"

"…Or else what Jack? In case you hadn't forgotten I am still your superior and unless you would like to be removed from this centre I suggest you let go of me now! In this instance I will compromise – but only for the good of Agent Bristow if that's who this person actually is - " before Jack and Vaughn could say anything Kendall continued

"I will allow one of you to watch the testing from the observation booth - I'll leave it up to you to decide who goes." With this Kendall loosened himself from Jack's grip and flounced from the room.

That was how Vaughn got to be here – after Kendall had left the room Jack had insisted that Vaughn be the one to go ("She'll want to see you first" he had said) but had made Vaughn promise that the minute anything happened Vaughn would call him in from outside the observation room where he would be waiting. And so Vaughn watched as his beloved Sydney was put through interviews and scans and tests as she proved that she was who she said she was.

After ten hours of testing, Vaughn was alarmed as Sydney was led from the main lab into a side room where he could no longer see her and a doctor entered the observation room.

"What's wrong? Why are you moving her? What's going on?" His fears verbalised to the doctor

"Calm down Agent Vaughn, we're just moving the prisoner…"

"Sydney – her name is Sydney" Vaughn interrupted

" Sydney – we're just moving Sydney to another room so that she can rest in peace – you can go and sit with her in a little while but first I wanted to talk to Agent Kendall and I thought you might want to hear my report – in fact Sydney wanted yourself and her father?" Vaughn nodded "to hear what I had to say – I've already phoned Kendall and he's on his way down. Do you know where…" At this point Kendall entered the room with Jack on his heels "…Agent Bristow is?"

Jack had instinctively looked to the lab when he entered the room and Vaughn had seen the worry that he felt cloud over his eyes. Before Jack had even asked Vaughn found himself responding:

"She's in a side room. Resting. We've just got to hear what the doctor has to say and then we can see her."

Jack smiled and nodded slightly at this – Vaughn was more like him than he cared to admit – especially to Sydney. But Jack caught himself getting lost in his own thoughts and instead refocused his attentions on the doctor.

"Well…?" Kendall asked.

The doctor began to speak to the group,

"Well, she's who she says she is. The woman that is in the side room resting is definitely Sydney Bristow." With this both Vaughn and Jack glared at Kendall with 'I told you so' faces that were so similar and harsh that the doctor was glad that he wasn't in Kendall's shoes.

"I also checked Miss Bristow over – she appears to be in excellent health – physically at least. There is evidence to suggest that she was beaten but not within the last year or so and she has healed exceptionally well. I'd say that the beating she undertook was no worse than those that I would normally see on an Agent – which suggests that she was relatively well treated. Further evidence for this was provided by the fact that a small scar located on Agent Bristow's right lower stomach that was a cause for concern, was actually a scar from an operation to remove her appendix. Ordinarily in cases where torture is involved such a neat scar wouldn't be observed. Also, I think you'll be exceptionally pleased to know, that there is no evidence whatsoever of any sexual assault. So physically she's fine."

Here, both Vaughn and Jack breathed sighs of relief. Vaughn was overjoyed that his worst fears had proved false – they hadn't hurt her (or at least no more than she was used to), she was physically fine and he was most thankful for the fact that she hadn't been raped. He forced himself to focus as he realised that the doctor was about to continue,

"The only concern that I have is that Agent Bristow cannot remember anything. That could be due to something that her captors have done – perhaps a drug – or it could purely by psychological in that her brain simply doesn't want to remember what has occurred. That doesn't have to be due to hurt or trauma, but may be linked in with painful emotions that she experienced and doesn't want to experience again. Either way it is possible that Agent Bristow's memories may resurface in the future and she would need support through that." Even the doctor knew that this was a defunct statement judging by the look of love on Vaughn's face.

"But otherwise there is nothing more to say so I think it would be alright for you both to see her as long as you let her rest."

With this Vaughn and Jack headed to the side room. Once outside Jack turned to Vaughn

"You go in first and check she's alright I'll come in soon, I just need a minute or two…"

"Jack it's fine – really I had to do the same thing – you don't need to explain" Jack smiled at the younger agent realising for the first time that perhaps he was actually good enough for his little girl. Vaughn gently reached for the door handle and opened the door.

Vaughn smiled as he looked over his love. Sydney was lying peacefully, apparently asleep, on the bed. However, as the door clicked shut she opened her eyes and reached her hand out for him,

"Hey…"

"Hey beautiful – I thought you were asleep" he walked to her bedside and sat on the side of her bed taking her hand in his.

"No - just resting. Did you speak to the doctor?" Vaughn nodded

"Yeah – it was good news huh"

Sydney smiled gently,

"Yep – couldn't have hoped for better really – I just wish they hadn't had to take so much of my blood to get it!"

Vaughn grinned and bent down to kiss the site in the crook of Sydney's elbow that was bruised from so many needles. Finally he allowed tears to fall from his eyes as he rested his head on her stomach – Sydney's hands caressed his head gently as she spoke,

"It's OK honey – I know. But I'm fine – you don't need to cry for me anymore"

"I thought I lost you…."

"I know and I you" Sydney fiddled with the ring on Vaughn's finger "But we didn't lose each other – we're together now – right?"

Vaughn smiled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead

"Right"

TBC 

Let me know what you think

Hugs

Lara

PS Huge shout out to my beta Syd who is unwell at the minute – Get well soon hon! Coincidently – this means that this part wasn't beta'ed and so all mistakes are my own!


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